BACK IN THE GAME

just got home from the wake i blogged about recently. i finally decided to go. it was good that i did.

at around 10:30 pm last night i received a text message from a friend saying "i'll pick you up by 10:45 pm. see you." when i read the message, i must admit i felt kind of hesitant but there was nothing i can do anymore. my friend is on the way to pick me up. i thought to myself, it is now or never. i hurriedly prepped and went dashing down. i had time to buy myself an ice cream cone from the 24 hour convenience store across the street so i did, i thought this might help ease me down.

we got to the wake some time after. as i and my friend were walking towards the hall i felt my heart pounding. when we finally entered the door, i saw her. there she was standing and talking to some of our common friends. as we walked towards them, memories of all the good old days came flashing through my mind. hugs and exchanges of greetings went on and as my turn came to finally greet her, my eyes started to burn. as we hugged she whispered in my ear, "i missed you." there it was, tears dribbled down my cheeks. there was nothing i could say. i just hugged her really tight. no words were needed at the moment. that was all it took and then suddenly, it seemed everything was back to the way they were.

the night went on over stories and laughs. as everybody was exchanging stories, at the back of my mind i was saying, "damn, i miss this!" it was just like before. everything was familiar to me again. the feelings that i thought i've lost were suddenly fresh again. i felt everybody's relief of the reconciliation between me and my friend. new plans are now in order. hahaha. once again, the children of the sky are back in the game.

BYGONES

i just got a text message saying that an old friend's grandmother died. i was being asked if i wanted to attend the wake. i am unsure.

about a year and a half ago, this old friend and i had a falling apart. it was over differences brought about by new relations in her part. tension slowly built up. it started with snide comments, some small outbursts every now and then, some rants here, some there until finally one day consummation kicked in and rage was just unleashed. ive known this person for a long time. a long time i dare say. thinking about it now, it is kind of funny how easily i brushed off the friendship. i remember not even having second thoughts about it despite all the pleas common friends were throwing in at me.

looking back, i and this old friend used to be a tandem. we were together everywhere. from roadtrips, to parties, to just hanging out - hell, we were together. we were tight. i was always her resort as she was mine. it was actually automatic, wherever she's seen, i am seen as well. until now, people never really got over that sense. whenever i grace gatherings they tend to question my missing half. i just give them a shrug and a smirk. they resort. they get the idea i pressume.

i will admit, i was jealous. i was suddenly put aside as her new relation stepped in. dont get me wrong - this is not jealousy romantic wise. point clear. i was now a background for a new foreman has stepped in. i was now a second resort. that was a struggle. i was never used to this set up. a confrontation and a few tongue lashings put a dot on the story line.

as time took its course, working its thing as always, i got used to the idea. hence, my current disposition. while typing this i am doing some pondering asking myself if i am okay. i guess i am. i actually am. i am now considering a go show. being civil about the whole thing is not such a gruelling task. it wouldn't require bending a limb. haha. i wonder what will transpire from then on?