365 DAYS OF SH*T

over and over i feel the same thing.
i rise and as if time has turned a notch a faster, i lose track of it i suddenly fall.
over and over i see the same thing.
the sun standing proud and as i blink it bid farewell then darkness takes over.
over and over i hear the same thing.
tick-tock-tick-tock i try to run with my heartbeat yet the track seems never ending.
i am losing in this battle.
i am starting to feel weak.
i try to savor everything around me yet nothing seems to be appealing.
left i turned i ended screaming.
right i turned i ended crying.
i stay still on neutral ground i find myself frozen.
as i try to give meaning to all shit happening, i ended dying.

same shit, different day!

NEGOTIABLE AFFECTION

ive always wondered how it is to be a person with negotiable affection? being paid for "affection" if you know what im saying. since i am in search for anything that will shake things up a little, maybe i should try being an undercover male-for-hire. hahahaha.

what the fuck am i thinking? i need to sleep.

FUCK 2010

as much as id want to celebrate the new year, i just cant seem to find enough reasons to do so. i know that the coming of a new year is a fresh way to start anew but i just feel same old same old.

i usually plan a lot everytime a new year starts - new agendas, new travel plans, new goals, new things to buy, etc. as the new year approached, i just felt apathetic. more like passive and indifferent. it seemed that there is just nothing to look forward to this coming year.

i dont usually drink when i go to year-ender parties but this time was different. i went to every party i got invited to and got totally wasted. i must say i enjoy the feeling of being drunk. this was my way of bidding farewell to a great 2009 maybe. it's like breaking off with a girlfriend and then turning to alcohol for self satisfaction. im so headed for a big downfall.

could it be that im just getting older that my zest for life is starting to wane? or, could it be because im starting to stagnate once again? honestly, i am just bored. bored to the extent that i am desperately in need of something to shake things up a little. i need to be involved into something dangerous or illegal. hahaha. come to think of it, maybe i should start exploring once again. let the rebel in me get out of his cage once more. tsk tsk tsk. this is not good.

ac*d, h*shish, e*stacy, we*d, c*ke, hero*n = heaven

hahahah =)

REPOST: LIFE SUCKS

freaks… another night yet again im awake…it’s 2:17 am now. i’ve been infront of my computer for like hours now - browsing over this and that, unendlessly checkin’ for new emails. it’s official - LIFE SUCKS! *amp*

have you ever been to the point in your life when suddenly it dawns unto your mind that your life is boring? alas, i have. everyday is a routine. i’ve come to realize that i’m living my life in a pattern. you know what? it sucks. i need something exciting to perk me up! i wonder when that would be?