TEQUILA = CHAOS

last night, as always, i was over at a friend's house yet last night was a different night from any other night.

the night started as routine. as usual, me and my friends were deciding what we'd like to eat. we decided to have cake so we drove to contis in greenhills to get some. we had our cakes to go. when we got back over at my friend's house, my bestfriend's wife was there, waiting. whilst eating our cakes, my bestfriend's wife was insisting that we drink alcohol. she was badly craving for it. we gave in. we were wanting beer but my bestfriend's wife wanted hard liquor. she wanted that we drink tequila. oh crap! this is shit waiting to happen, i thought to myself. we gave her what she wanted.

the drinking session was pretty okay for the first few hours but when the alcohol kicked in, especially for my bestfriend's wife, things kinda got out of hand. she started to breakdown and started to talk. she said, for the past few weeks she's been having difficulty dealing with my bestfriend. they would fight frequently over so many things and never seem to resolve any of it. our female friends were trying to comfort her as she cried her feelings out. i asked her where my bestfriend's at now. she said he went driving around the neighborhood with one of our friends. a few minutes later, they arrived. as they went in, my bestfriend saw his wife crying. this kinda pissed him off so he went out again. i followed him. i have very good faith in my bestfriend. heck, i've known him all my life so im pretty keen in hearing his side of the story. i asked him what the fuck is wrong. he told me to just forget it. he didn't want to involve any of us with his marital problems. i said what the fuck. i told him that it would be very unfair to him if he didn't speak out. he insisted that i just forget about it. then i told him this;

"you know what, problema kasi sayo hindi ka vocal eh. no wonder walang na reresolve sa inyong dalawa. nag papatong patong lang issues nyong mag asawa kasi kahit isa walang resolution. nag iipon lang kayo ng problema!"

then he spoke. he said i was right about him not being vocal. then he started to vent out. he started to cry as well. this was the first time that i've seen him so vulnerable. misery was etched all over his face. he told me his side of the story. we were talking for merely twenty minutes when her wife passed by us. i asked her where she was going. she said she was going home. i followed her home.

when we got there, she went straight to their bedroom. i set modesty aside and followed her there. she started putting clothes in a bag. i asked her to sit down for a minute so we could talk. she said she doesn't want to talk anymore. she's too overwhelmed. she just continued packing her things. a female friend arrived a few minutes later. she asked my bestfriend's wife where she's planning to go. it was around 3 in the morning that time. my bestfriend's wife answered that she just wants to disconnect for some time. she wouldn't tell us where she's planning to go. we were begging her to tell us but she just wouldn't tell. i was starting to get pissed so i opted to just go out and back to my friend's house.

when i got back to my friend's house, my bestfriend was already inside talking to our other friends. he was telling his side of the story. he seemed a bit okay now. a little time later, the female friend who also followed my bestfriend's wife came back. she was pissed as hell. she was furious. i asked her what happened. she said that my bestfriend's wife left already and that there was nothing she could do to make her stay. my bestfriend got alarmed. as he was about to stand up and go out, another female friend received a text message. it was from my bestfriend's wife saying that we need not to worry. she was going somewhere safe. she said she just wanted some time alone to think things over. i could just see the worry on my bestfriend's face. he said, maybe this is what they need for now. some space and time to think things over. we all agreed. we asked the female friend who received the text message from my bestfriend's wife to check up on her frequently because we doubt if my bestfriend's wife would directly speak to my bestfriend. she obliged.

after some more talk, we called it a night. as i was about to go out and head home, my bestfriend asked me and another friend if we could stay over with him at home for the night. he said he didn't feel like being alone. i felt really bad for him so i did. our friend did as well. when we got inside his place, a note was left on one of the counters. it was from his wife. it says;

"i just wish you realize how much i mean to you!"

i guess i was right, tequila was shit waiting to happen.

PURE BLISS

i was having lunch awhile ago when someone rang the doorbell. i opened the door and there was this lanky looking guy that gave me a package.

catch: ano to?
lanky looking guy: pinabibigay po ni ma'am ched.
catch: sino yun?
lanky looking guy: kaibigan po yun ng nanay nyo.
catch: (while opening the package and looking at what's inside) WAAHHHHH!!!!! TEA LATTE!!!!!!!
lanky looking guy: (weird look on face) sige po.
catch: salamat.

then i closed the door. i hurriedly got my phone and dialed my mom's number.

"ring, ring, ring"
mom: ano yun?
catch: may nagdala ng tea latte mix dito sa bahay. galing daw from your friend ched.
mom: ah, oo. i told her kasi about your obsession with the tea lattes sa 7/11 sa bangkok. nag tatanong ako kung meron sya ganun.
catch: bat meron sya ganito?
mom: (laughing) di ko din alam. sa kanya din galing yung red iced tea mix na gusto mo from tokyo tokyo dati.
catch: (lauging) siya ba source ng mga hard to find drink mixes na hindi binibenta sa market.
mom: (lauging) siguro. try mo na then tell me kung yan nga yun.
catch: okay
mom: okay. bye.
catch: bye.

i then opened the pack and made my self an iced tea latte. it was pure bliss. this was the very same tea latte from the 7/11s in bangkok. hahaha. it's been a while since i've been to a 7/11 store here since ministop opened across the street directly infront of our house. i wonder if the 7/11s here sell the same tea latte. im yet to find out.

post script:

i just realized that the red iced tea mix, apparantly from ched as well, was packed for amds/dispensers too. this tea latte mix is packed the same. the red iced tea mix was also the same red iced tea served in tokyo tokyo. i guess she has sources for drink mixes that are not sold for retail in stores. lucky me....

PEOPLE WATCHING

one thing i enjoy doing is people watching. i like looking at people. i just love to observe and whirl with the thoughts that would run through my mind.

airports are my mecca for people watching. during my travels, i actually dont mind checking in way ahead of time so just i could people watch. i would just sit on one spot and watch people go by. i find it very enriching. i would ponder what country they are from or where they are headed next or perhaps why they are dressed a certain way or what their purpose for travel is.

*sitting in one corner

*people watching

by people watching i see all sorts of differences in culture - how liberal some people are and how conservative some people might get. one instance, as i was sitting on the floor in an airport in thailand, a group of caucausian girls boldly strip down in their undies, put on deodorant, and put on new set of clothes. they didn't seem to mind everybody else around them (good thing they didn't. lol). i so wanted to snap a photo but that would be just darn inappropriate. they seem to be in haste, probably late for check in. on the other hand, while i was lined up in border control, i saw a group of islam women (i pressumed) all covered in layers of black cloth from head to toe. if i am not mistaken, islam women are forbidden to show any skin. then i wondered how the border control officers would handle such a case. the border control officers are supposed to check identities and see if they match the photo in passports. i was very eager to find out but it was i next in queue so i never got in finding out how. crap.

sometimes i also wonder how language barriers are bridged. there was this one time when i saw a korean woman, probably my age, who seemed pretty lost in the airport. being the helpful person that i am (ehem), i approached her and asked her what seemed to be the problem. she just looked at me and said a phrase in korean that ended with the word "english." i got it, she doesn't speak english. no wonder she was having a hard time. all the signage in the airport are written either in english or in the country's native language. then she bowed down and left.

people watching is fun. just make sure you dont cross the line from just observing to being just rude.

LAST SATURDAY

last saturday, i was badly craving for alcohol. i badly wanted to get wasted just for the sake of being wasted. so i did.

last saturday, the bad ass typhoon ondoy hit the country. some of my friends were greatly affected - one lost a car and a home, one lost a grandmother and an aunt, and some are still unreachable so i aint got any idea about. a cousin got stranded somewhere in banawe ave and was forced to take refuge in a bus for the night.

last saturday, we rushed a friend to the hospital. she suddenly had a seizure. the physicians are yet to find out the cause. no, she wasn't drinking alcohol with us. while i and some friends were drowning ourselves with beer, she was having a home serviced pedicure. i swear, i felt all intoxication washed out from me when the incident happened.

last saturday, i bacame number one in the facebook game "plock". effin 2M++ score. hahaha. a friend came so close but ain't enough.

last saturday, i ate one whole footlong sandwich and salt and vinegar flavored veggie chicharon. a feat for me. hahaha.

how was your saturday?

THE DRINK AND THE DRUNK

im in the mood of being wasted this saturday night (smirk!). ive realized recently that my tolerance for alchohol has increased drastically. good for me.

i was just sorting out photos in my hard drive when i realized that i have tons of photos either holding a bottle of beer or being totally wasted in many different occasions. hahaha. i never actually thought that id come to such point. i was never really into drinking (or so i make myself believe). i dont like the taste of beer and yet looking thru the photos it seems otherwise.

as i browse thru each photo one by one, i recall each particular event. i try to remember how much alcohol i actually ingested and if my memory serves me right, it seems a hefty LOT. hahaha.

i guess gone are the days of being alcoholically demure and cheers to morning after hang-overs and dry mouth.

RETRIBUTION

light has gone astray and the bitter cold has set in. this is it! the day has finally come.

i was in refuge for such a long time and now time has come to finally claim what was long overdue. i've been holding on to every bit of light that i would see spark and now all seemed to be exasperated. as i look around mere shadows are taking shapes that are unknown to me. i cannot deny this anymore. this must be faced.

i feel blinded though. this is something i knew that was bound to happen but never seemed to be at arm's reach. darkness has crept in every direction. as i try to feel everything around me, with eyes fixed into nothingness, i shiver. the stillness i sense now will soon betray me.

am i ready? regardless, i have no choice but to succumb, to surrender. choice is not an option anymore. the enevitable is invariably occuring before me. "why prolong the agony?" i hear myself say.

i open my arms wide and shut my eyes and i let the vast blackness engulf me. i feel every part of me being torn into pieces yet i feel no pain. this is something i did not expect. "this is suppose to hurt!" i hear myself say, once more. then, in just a fraction of time, it was all over.

as i lay broken, catching my every breath, i hear a distant sound. i cannot make out the sound i am hearing yet it feels soothing. it is calming. in this sound i shall take refuge once again. i shall linger, i shall rest.

RUNABOUT CURSE

once again, i found myself back in the runabout.

it's been a long while since i was back in it. it sucks. life has become boring again. before i had my recent trip i was doing okay. it seemed that i was on track with my life. i had important things to do. it seemed life had purpose. i had an agenda on hand and i was effin doing fine with it.

now, i feel lost again. when i got back, it seemed i lost track of everything. i dont do my studying anymore nor do i watch the usual tv series that i follow. all of a sudden, i feel like im doing the same routine i eagerly left behind a long time ago. i feel like i lost spontaneity.

i'd wake up at around 2 pm. i'd eat lunch then sleep again. i'd wake up at around 5 pm. i'd take a bath then i'd eat dinner. at 7 pm i'd come over to my friend's house. we'd then start to think of what we'd like to eat for the night (burger, cake, starbucks, chips, whatever we agree upon). i'd stay there till around 3 am then i'd go home. i'd take a shower, floss and brush my teeth, then go to bed. the next day, the same would transpire again. for cryin out loud, i don't even have time for my dog anymore. that's something unacceptable. this has been constantly happening since saturday. i'm being stagnant again. it bothers me.

looking in the mirror, im starting not to like what i see. i'm gaining a little poundage. that's sucks. looking at my dog, i feel he's going insane. he's been chewing his bed mattress beyond recognition. the stuffing is all over the place. i haven't given him his bath this week yet as well.

i need intervention. this has to end. i need some fuckin motivation.

BACK FROM BKK

IM BACK...

BANGKOK BOUND

bound for bangkok again. be back next week.

MISSING NYC

when i was in the states, i got to live in central manhattan for a month. i was watching a tv show a while ago and it was shot in NYC. as i was watching, i felt nostalgic. i suddenly felt how much i miss the big apple.

although life in NYC is freaking expensive (a pack of gum for $3, how's that?!), you can still enjoy it without spending much (maybe except for the subway fare of $2 per ride). you may even choose just to walk. i really didn't mind just walking most of the time for everywhere i looked just seemed picturesque. also, the apartment i lived in was just across central park so that was an added bonus.

here are some Times Square photos that i took:

BACK IN THE GAME

just got home from the wake i blogged about recently. i finally decided to go. it was good that i did.

at around 10:30 pm last night i received a text message from a friend saying "i'll pick you up by 10:45 pm. see you." when i read the message, i must admit i felt kind of hesitant but there was nothing i can do anymore. my friend is on the way to pick me up. i thought to myself, it is now or never. i hurriedly prepped and went dashing down. i had time to buy myself an ice cream cone from the 24 hour convenience store across the street so i did, i thought this might help ease me down.

we got to the wake some time after. as i and my friend were walking towards the hall i felt my heart pounding. when we finally entered the door, i saw her. there she was standing and talking to some of our common friends. as we walked towards them, memories of all the good old days came flashing through my mind. hugs and exchanges of greetings went on and as my turn came to finally greet her, my eyes started to burn. as we hugged she whispered in my ear, "i missed you." there it was, tears dribbled down my cheeks. there was nothing i could say. i just hugged her really tight. no words were needed at the moment. that was all it took and then suddenly, it seemed everything was back to the way they were.

the night went on over stories and laughs. as everybody was exchanging stories, at the back of my mind i was saying, "damn, i miss this!" it was just like before. everything was familiar to me again. the feelings that i thought i've lost were suddenly fresh again. i felt everybody's relief of the reconciliation between me and my friend. new plans are now in order. hahaha. once again, the children of the sky are back in the game.

HAPPY 25th

hahaha. i was looking thru pictures in my hard drive when i came across to this. this was a picture taken during my 25th birthday last march. i was in the states back then. i just can't help but laugh. you gettin' the point why?!? go figure...

WATER CALL

im lying at bed when suddenly i realized how much i miss being in the water. its been a while now since i last rode the wake or went free diving. im thinking of planning with friends one major waterscape. hahaha. im just pretty much hoping matching schedules for everyone. hey, if you are reading this now (whoever you are) let this also serve as a free invitation if you are a water sports enthusiast. maybe hit lago since it is the nearest cable park from qc.

shouts out: oliver, albert, jason, ines

BYGONES

i just got a text message saying that an old friend's grandmother died. i was being asked if i wanted to attend the wake. i am unsure.

about a year and a half ago, this old friend and i had a falling apart. it was over differences brought about by new relations in her part. tension slowly built up. it started with snide comments, some small outbursts every now and then, some rants here, some there until finally one day consummation kicked in and rage was just unleashed. ive known this person for a long time. a long time i dare say. thinking about it now, it is kind of funny how easily i brushed off the friendship. i remember not even having second thoughts about it despite all the pleas common friends were throwing in at me.

looking back, i and this old friend used to be a tandem. we were together everywhere. from roadtrips, to parties, to just hanging out - hell, we were together. we were tight. i was always her resort as she was mine. it was actually automatic, wherever she's seen, i am seen as well. until now, people never really got over that sense. whenever i grace gatherings they tend to question my missing half. i just give them a shrug and a smirk. they resort. they get the idea i pressume.

i will admit, i was jealous. i was suddenly put aside as her new relation stepped in. dont get me wrong - this is not jealousy romantic wise. point clear. i was now a background for a new foreman has stepped in. i was now a second resort. that was a struggle. i was never used to this set up. a confrontation and a few tongue lashings put a dot on the story line.

as time took its course, working its thing as always, i got used to the idea. hence, my current disposition. while typing this i am doing some pondering asking myself if i am okay. i guess i am. i actually am. i am now considering a go show. being civil about the whole thing is not such a gruelling task. it wouldn't require bending a limb. haha. i wonder what will transpire from then on?

THOUGHT: 25 -ish

a friend once wrote in her blog that life ends at 25. figuratively, it sure does. i am 25 now and i must say that quarter life crisis sure did not miss its turn on me. i sure did feel the struggles, the doubts, the questions, the issues and all sorts of the like. i had to re-evaluate some of the things i strongly believe in and re-assess some of my principles. so, what have i realized in my 25 years of existence?

1) contrary to the saying that a you don't always get what you want, i must say that it is possible to always get what you want in the condition that it's within the limits of your control. if you want something and it is within your control, you can get it as long as you work hard for it - giving it your all.

2) that regardless of whatever people say or dictate, it is always your decision that matters. at the end of the day, it is you who is going to take responsibility for your actions. it is just a matter of having the guts to face the consequences of things you do - either good or bad.

3) that the more you mingle with people, the more you become wiser. why? because by doing so you see all sorts of characters and you learn to deal with each type. you learn to act accordingly with tact and respect and you learn to just be appropriate.

4) that you dont seek happiness from the company of others but from yourself. you must learn to derive happiness from within yourself because people come and go. if the people you get happiness from go, they take away your happiness with them leaving you bitter and miserable.

5) that you don't need to be religious to be faithful spiritually. it is a matter of how strong your faith is to your spiritual belief and not how often you go to your spiritual congregation. faith is unmeasurable. it is something that is personal and not dictated. faith is something that is not to be proven. faith is a personal relationship with whoever or whatever you choose to associate it with.

6) adding insult to injury creates chaos. there is no sense in justifying a mistake with another mistake. when a mistake is made, deal with it and leave it at that. just learn from it and move on. don't rationalize and make excuses. just suck it in. in the first place, think first before making a move. learn to project the consequences and evaluate if you can stand up to it.

7) you must never assume. people tend to assume things and make the mistake of believing their own assumptions. an assumption is still just an assumption. don't dwell on it. if it will remain unknown to you, don't kill yourself trying to make it known by assuming. an assumption is and will remain an assumption.

8 ) never dwell on anything for a long time. everything is transitory. everything changes. keep that in mind.

9) be yourself. life is too short to be somebody else. be comfortable. please yourself first before you please others. love yourself first before you love others. see yourself according to your own perspective and not another's.

10) maximize your potentials. all human is infinitely perfectible. you can do anything within human limits as long as you strive hard. you can learn anything. you are capable of anything. have the confidence and just believe in yourself.

11) eliminate pride from your system. be responsible for the things you do. learn to know yor grounds and own up to it. there is no sense in denying to yourself that you made a bad deed. you can never lie to yourself. you can never fool yourself so stop telling yourself otherwise.

12) never regret anything. regretting is pointless because time moves forward. you can never turn it back. take your experiences as lessons. if something you did turned out bad, learn from it. at least now you know. don't commit it again. you're stupid if you do.

BOREDOM IS PRODUCTIVE

I am to meet a friend today in a coffee shop. We’re meeting because I promised her some time ago that I would fix her PSP game console and put some games in it. My friend used to work in the coffee shop but got reassigned to some other branch for what reason I don’t know. I got in the coffee shop at around 1 pm. There was really no set time in our meeting. In fact, it was through the baristas in the coffee shop that I learned that my friend wanted to meet me today. Being a frequent patron here, I just thought that my friend would probably show up at my usual time of staying - around 1 pm onwards. I frequent the coffee shop because I find it comfortable doing my review here rather than at home. I am preparing for some exam I have to take this coming October. Yesterday, before I found out that my friend wanted to meet me today, I decided not to do some review. I thought, since I didn’t pass on the weekend doing review which I usually do (weekends = free time), I deserved some time off. That was supposed to be today. Since that wouldn’t go as planned, I just thought I’d hang around instead in the coffee shop. I am here today and she is still not here. I asked the baristas if they were able to talk to my friend and they said she’d be off from her branch at around 5 pm. What the hell, I thought. I have nothing to do. I thought that I’d just do some review but my brain just wouldn't agree that I do so. Ha-ha, maybe my brain conditioned itself that today is supposed to be free time. I thought to myself, I’d just continue with my unfinished game in my PSP. Thinking that, I also remembered that I’ve been trying to finish the game for ages now but to no avail that I just decided not to. I could just not progress. So what am I to do? A bright idea dawned on me, I’d just write a blog. Ha-ha. I have written blogs before scattered throughout the different social networking sites that I have joined in but I’ve been wanting to start a blog in blogspot and do all my blogs therein. Now would be the time to start doing that, hence, this blog entry. Hold on, I thought to myself again. There is no free WIFI connection in the coffee shop. Well, nothing would stop me from this sudden urge to start my new blog so I asked the guard to watch over my stuff in the coffee shop while I go to the nearest telecommunications business center and buy myself a prepaid broadband kit. Ha-ha. Blogspot here I come. While I was installing my brand new prepaid broadband kit, I suddenly realized that I didn’t have to buy a broadband kit just to start a blog. I could just type a blog in Office Word and just upload it later at home. Too late I thought. Now, I am P1895 poorer. Another impulsive buy! Ha-ha-ha. Being the rationalizing type that I am, I’m hell sure to find reasons to justify my purchase so no worries. Right now, what’s going on in my mind is at least I’ll never be limited to just my home internet connection, vast online information is readily accessible. There! Justified. Ha-ha.