Saturday, January 27, 2007

REPOST: CHAOS

im struggling and i know it. im in complete chaos and im feeling helpless. im being drenched and im starting to drown. on a sidetrip everything is starting to become dull and errosive. it’s sickening and it’s tiring. it pains me. i am choosing to be passive and apathetic. a change in predicament that most would find sudden. i ought to be. a defensive act maybe but for such worthy cause. self preservation. a dismissal of what seems to be conventional - fuck it. all my thoughts are in constant rage. im on protest. all of me. im on guard for a spark of light amidst this darkness. on guard for a shade of gray. im reaching blindly. im hopeless yet ignited by minute bursts of warmth and indignation. as i drown, i feel stabbed by the piercing cold. i surrender but with a lingering thought. pain is transitory. when i open my eyes i’ll be squinting. rays of light will embrace me. i will rise and again - im reborn a victor.